I was gonna fly up to Dallas tonight, but all the flights were either cancelled or delayed, and I didn’t want to get on a delayed flight. So I’m gonna fly up to Dallas this Friday. I was toying with the idea of using friday to spend some time with my mom to go christmas shopping, but she just came in and harassed me about how I should be 130lbs instead of 180lbs. I’m 5′10 and all muscle after my weight training class, my weight isn’t fat. And she made sure I remember that being obese, like I am, makes you get diabetes and heart attacks. So I’m not going to stay here Friday if I don’t have to. Dave said he doesn’t mind me visiting, and is looking foward to it. So I’m gonna use this as an oportunity to spend more time with him and bond and stuff. Hopefully I’ll get an afternoon flight, I want to go around 2:30 or 3:00, but I’ll probably have to go later.
I was driving from school to my parents house today, and something really scary happened. My vision started getting really distorted, and going in and out, my chest got constricted and my head felt like it was gonna explode. I’m pretty sure its high blood pressure and stress from my parents and me deciding I’m not living with them anymore, just these last few days. I can’t afford an apartment or anything though, but if I have to live in my truck I think its worth it. I’ve finally reached my breaking point with the constant stress from their abuse, my dad almost ripped my arm out of my socket saturday night. This stuff usually happens once or twice a semester, and I’m used to it, but I’ve finally reached the point where I’m not going to take it anymore. It feels really good too. So even though I’m scared, I’m excited too. I’m over at April’s place right now, I never went to my parents house because I was too scared I’d wreck. I drove back over here since she lives so close to UH (just across the street!). We chatted and she let me take a nap and I feel much better now. My neck hurts still but I’m not freaking out or nauseous anymore.
I’m seriously thinking about asking Dave what he’s doing on Thursday night, and if its not a bother for him, paying the $60 for a stand by ticket that night and comming up then. I just seriously can’t be with my parents anymore and I feel so much free-er and happier with Dave.
I finally wrote my book review, yey! I hope its gonna get a good grade, my parents had a big fight with me the night I was trying to write it. I know its decent, but I want like an A. Oh well, shit happens. I’m excited though because I get to be with my baby for a whole week. I’m flying up to see him on the 4th and comming back on the 10th. I would have rather flown up this friday, but I knew my parents would go ballistic if I left on friday and came back on the 10th. And I dont’ Dave to feel like I’m crowding him or anything either. I also probably will have to work on friday saturday and sunday, even though I want to quit.
and I had soup, but I’m still hungry, I wish UH had better food sources. Bew.
how much force is needed to cause severe bruising of tissue? It seems so easy for people to do, but I can’t even flick someone. I don’t understand how you can do that to another living being, especially your own flesh. Maybe its cause I’m such a whore. I have to be protected from myself, I’m crazy.
I need hugs.
I am feeling much better today, I guess I was down ’cause of harmones. I was feelin better yesterday too, but then some jerk on my last tour cussed me out and yelled at me because I hit the brakes too hard. But they weren’t working, I had to throw the parking brake. And I got reprimanded because this “wasn’t the first such incindence”. So I didn’t call in today and hopefully they’ll fire me. I don’t want to work there anymore but I’ll get yelled at if I quit.
Anyways, I took a shower after I got home and felt much better, and then Dave came by, since he was in town for Thanksgiving. We had much funs, we ate at Little Tokyo and saw Borat. He had to go back to his parents today though, even though he didn’t seem to want to go. I hope he has fun with his brother at least.
I cooked lamb kabobs and couscous for lunch, and it was yummy. I was sad Dave couldn’t stay for lunch, but he was already late as is. But that’s ok, maybe he’ll stop back by on his way back home and I can let him have some then.
I’m finally going to do my book review, I’ve been putting it off all month. So later.
but you wouldn’t know it from going outside. Nothing is closed, so I guess only teachers and soccer moms get today off. I did get to get off work early though, double pay or not it still pisses me off that we’re even open today. We’re closed christrmas, but not today. like there’s a fucking difference. Oh wait, the owner is christian, I guess they want to keep face in their church, or something.
I’ve been depressed all week, I guess its hormones. But I can’t stand living here, getting yelled at everytime I eat something. Especially rice. whenever I cook my dinner I usually cook rice, and if I eat any of it then I must be fat and disgusting. I guess 22 years of being yelled at is finally getting to me, or something. I just wish I had my own home I could go to when this stupid holiday is over, instead of staying here.
I hate sounding so emo and useless. Anyways, happy thanksgiving
I totally forgot to update with the gravey recipe!! I hope this is posted in time to help everyone who needs it.
fill a small pot with chicken/turkey broth, season with summer savory, celery seed, tumeric, celery salt. Do not use any other salt, just celery salt. Also add black pepper, white pepper (if available) and garlic powder.
giblets (internal organs and necks) dice everything very small, except any necks, and place in pot.
celery, chop celery and place in pot.
thicken gravey 1 tsp flour at a time
also, if your cooking vegetable dishes, add a small bit of a vegetable from one or two dishes. EXAMPLE I’m going to be cooking asparagus, so after triming the spears i use any leftover grean parts, not the tough, white root, but the softer leftover bits.
Sorry its so short and not very thorough, I have to get in bed so I can work in the morning. Hope its helpful!
I really wish my parents would stop telling me how fat I am. Its really starting to piss me off, and always with “men like their women skinny, your too fat, no one wants a woman so fat”. It is so irritating.
And I can’t cook Thanksgiving dinner. I’m pissed off about that too. I have to work Wednesday, Thanksgiving Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I can’t fucking do that, I have finals. As much as they may wish otherwise, my life doesn’t revolve around work.
I’m just overall irritated with everything.
[I don't have time to add the gravy etc. right now, I'll add it later]
I have been meaning to post this for a while, as I was gonna give April a recipe for stuffing. I finally got around to it, whee. These recipes will be much neater that the stew recipe, since that was mostly a throw your leftovers into a pot and let simmer deal. The ingredients purchased for the stuffing is more than you will use, so I have made this a sort of “set”. When I make these dishes I tie in the flavors to my other dishes (the difference between a good meal and a great one). So if you are making a whole meal, this will give you a stuffing (which can be used as a rice dish instead of a stuffing), a marinade for your meat dish, and a dressing for a salad.
What order should you cook these in? I recommend preparing your meat dish first(in this case 2 cornish game hens) and get it started, then work on the rice, and very lastly do the dressing.
Ingredients? Just to clarify, the ingredients purchased for the wild rice stuffing are the same ingredients used in the dressing and marinade. Reserve all your liquids!
Liscensing rights. This recipe is not to be published or sold for any amount of money. This recipe is the property of one the owner of this blog, Jessy-Ni and is only to be used for personal cooking or charities. Anyone can print as many copies of this recipe as they wish for their own personal use, or for distributing free of charge, as long as it is credited to the author. This recipe maybe linked to but is not to be copied onto any other webpage, unless it is so posted by the author of this recipe.
Wild Rice Stuffing With Peaches and Blackberries - Makes enough for two cornish game hens (For Turkey: One recipe is good for 5lbs of turkey, double as needed for each extra 5lbs of your turkey)
Ingredients
Preperation and Cooking
Blackberry Peach Vinegarette – Makes 2 cups of dressing
Ingredients
- 1 (1/4) cups extra virgin olive oil
- (1/2) cup baslamic vinegar
- (1/4) cup frozen blackberries
- 1 tablespoon peach syrup
Preperation
- Combine all ingredients in a tightly sealed jar. Shake very vigorously, until all ingredients are thoroughly mixed.
- Sample dressing and if not sweet enough add 1 teaspoon peach syrup, shake again, and taste. Repeat until dressing has desired sweetness.
- Once dressing is at desired sweetness, refrigerate until cold.
- Serve chilled. If desired sprinkle salad with pine nuts and a few blackberries or peach slices.
Peach and Blackberry Cornish Game Hens – Serves 4-5 people (if scaling this up for a turkey don’t fill anything into the body cavity during those steps, just syrup) (And for Pete’s sake don’t put your stuffing inside until the bird is done cooking!)
Ingredients
Preperations and Cooking
Well I’m feeling much better now. We had the funeral for my grandmother last Wednesday and it was a nice service. It provided closure for us and stuff.
And I got to visit my boyfriend, Dave, this past weekend. I just got back from Dallas. I wish I didn’t have to fly back in to Houston to go to school though, I miss snuggling with him. But being with him makes me feel so much better, as mushy as it sounds he completes me somehow. No poems this time, but there is part of one bouncing around my head. We shall see if it wins out over a story.
Now Amy go sleep, Amy tired.