Today started off crappy, and failed to get better. I went to work early, but didn’t work, I walked around the mall. I saw stuff I’d like to have, but am too poor to get and Dave is too poor to get. So I would feel selfish if I got it for me, and horrible if Dave got it for me, since we are both so broke. I got a hot chocolate from Starbucks to try and cheer myself up, but I didn’t get to enjoy it because I went to work as soon as I got it.
I got reprimanded for not knowing how to fill out R.A.’s (received on accounts) because someone bought some merchandise and wanted to pay a layaway at the same time. I didn’t ring up the two things separately, I rang them up together. I’m supposed to keep the R.A. receipt for the store and ring it up as R.A. And then I couldn’t do anything right. Everytime I did something it was wrong. I wasn’t on the floor enough. Ever. There were two of us there plus the owner and her husband, and I thought since I’d already bothered all the customers, and there was someone else on the floor that I could clean the display windows. No, I wasn’t paying enough attention to the customers again. Even though I’d already bothered them not even five minutes ago and someone else was there. Our store isn’t big at all, its maybe 1000 square feet. Maybe not even that, its only a little bigger than me an’ Dave’s apartment. And then just every single thing I did, I did it wrong. I changed a display because I thought the new girl did it and you couldn’t see one of the products because another product was in the way. But the owner was working on it and she was mad that I changed it. Then I got distracted by a customer while pricing some stuff, and forgot it in the way of everything because I went off to help him. It took forever and when I was done I was hungry so I got a burrito and when I got back I got reprimanded again, because I forgot the stuff in the way of everything.
And I just couldn’t do anything right. I feel like shit. I can’t let the owner’s think I’m incompetent, I need this job. If I get fired I can’t start teaching until school is back in session, and by then we’ll be late on the bills and won’t have anything to eat, and won’t have any gas to go anywhere. All I could think about was how stupid I am and how I can’t fuck up, and nothing I did was right.
I feel like such a failure.
I have to work today. But I don’t open, I close. I had nightmares about burning stuff and being shot. Dave refused to get up when the exterminator came, so he had to move the stove and fridge by himself, because I’m useless. Then Dave half assed cleaned and told me he was getting a friend to hang out with. I spent my one morning I get to sleep in cleaning our apartment. And I didn’t eat anything until twelve thirty. The exterminator came at ten, I tried to rest again with Dave, but then he called his friend over. I wouldn’t be pissed if it hadn’t been left to me to clean the damn apartment. And I cooked Dave breakfast too, so I didn’t get to eat until even later. And I have to leave in thirty fucking minutes and we were going to smoke hookah and watch T.V. and I said “You can watch whatever you want in thirty minutes, please pick something I like.” and he got south park christmas special. Which I dislike. I don’t like South Park, that stuff isn’t usually funny to me, and I hate their christmas specials.
I wanted to enjoy my fucking hookah and relax before I went to work, but I’m not going to so I’m leaving now.
It just really pisses me off how little respect he shows me in front of his friends.
I write stories. I don’t pretend that they are good, but I at least take my time with them and do character research and such and so forth, right?
Well, when I posted my awful Captain N story at fanfiction.net it was the only story in the section. Today, I went to check how it was doing. See if there were reviews and such, and there were 57 stories. 56 new ones. All by the same author, and all about one to two Times Roman font size 12 pages in Word in length.
The horror.
(read my story lulz)
http://cartoon.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091007
So I forgot to tell you about my awesome new scarf!
Our friend Kim knitted me a super sweet scarf as a gift. It is the best scarf ever! It is tan and cashmere and so soft and warm!
It is far superior to the scarf I got last year, at Macey’s. I love it! I will have to show you a picture soon.
Hoorah for crafts!
Today has been my best day off evar.
I slept super late and snuggled with dave all day.
It was awesome.
And then we played video games together, and chilled. And ordered pizza.
hoo-rah for days off.
