I don’t feel like everything is falling away from me anymore.
Dave did laundry and cleaned up the apt and stuff, and we made up.
I think part of when I feel scared and stuff is on some level I still expect something really painful to happen whenever I screw up. I mean, I still freak out when I spill something on the carpet, and dave is like “why are you sorry? its an accident” and I’m like “I’m sorry!” at least ten times.
also, my parents left me 23 messages last tuesday and they were mad and stuff. because I claimed myself on my tax return, they can’t get 300 bucks for claiming me, and I get kicked off their insurance in july. oh no, its nto like I finally have a job with insurance benefits or something. and they were pissed because they wanted me to come down to Houston for my dental stuff (I have to go to a houston area dentist under their insurance policy) and I don’t want to be trapped with them for a day, 300 (close enough) miles away from Dave.
ALSO we had already talked about this three times over the past week, and I had told them the same things.
SO in conclusion I had a super shitty whole week with an especially shitty saturday and sunday and also my hormones were making my hyper depressed. that happens for like five days before stuff. I can go into detail, but you didn’t ask. (don’t ask me questions you know really want to know the answer to, because I answer them, unless you’re a douche)
I feel a lot better today. Dave and I had lunch with some buds on dave’s lunch break, and I took a look at an apt. it looks nice, its smaller than where we live now, but its hella cheap. Also I didn’t make an appointment to view them, I just stopped in and the management was very nice.
We’d probably have to get rid of some furniture (*cough*quintuple-used-sofa-and-chair*cough*) but the storage space is MUCH improved, the kitchen is smaller but there is, in point of fact, a PANTRY. there are no pantries where we live now, we have to put stuff in our cabinets. I despise that.
also there are hardwood floors in the kitchen, living/dinning area and hall. I honestly could care less if they were cement floors, as long as it isn’t CARPET. I Hate carpet, with that capital “h” (how the hell do you onomatopoeia “h” eich haych heitch aytch? um anyways)
so today has been very productive today. I ment to go check out more apartments and stuff, but I have not yet. Mostly because the two places dave mentioned he told me “that place by applebees” and “the one nick’s moving to” so I am guessing on the first one, and the second one I have no idea.
I’m gonna do stuff now.
