Random Cougar Life

Basically I’ve had a crappy weekend. Today was pretty good, and Sunday was ok. But I had two nightmares, and I haven’t had any in a long time. I was late to work Friday and I’ve been stressing out about it a whole lot. Usually it isn’t a big deal, I get there at 9:50 or 9:55 instead of 9:45, but I didn’t get in until around 12:20. I open the store, no one else is there, the store gets fined by the mall for opening even five minutes late. I at first had a panic attack (a serious panic attack, not I was freaking out) because I thought I owed them $250.00 and I only get paid minimum wage ($5.85 an hour, just so we’re clear) and just now started working 30-ish hours a week. I get there, and am freaking out, because Ms. F, the manager, didn’t answer any of her phones. But she is there when I arrive, and I explain the situation (which I don’t feel like getting into) as to why I was late. She seemed to understand. But I still freak out basically the entire day. And then I had a nightmare that dave realized I was a useless, leaching, crazy bitch and left me. And then I didn’t get to see Dave nearly at all on Saturday. I saw him for like, ten minutes, and we had a party to go to so we didn’t get to eat dinner together or nothing. And I was all pissed off and stressed out and the owner of the store came in Friday and Saturday, and of course when she asked where I was ’cause she called the store and no one answered, I told her what happened and then felt like an idiot for it. And she jumps from topic to topic so that every twenty minutes I was assigned a new task while I was still working on the previous task and my response was to drop the previous task and work on the new one. This is something that I can do, because it is kind of how I function when I am cleaning. But it gets me “wired”, or “jumped” or whatever you want to call it. And I didn’t get any sleep hardly at all this whole weekend because I don’t have a method of winding myself down from this, usually what happens is I run out of juice and get tired from cleaning.

So all this led to one super stressful weekend, and to top it off Dave didn’t understand why I was so mad and upset about being late to work. He was just like “don’t be late again, I guess” and then got irritated because I was stressing out about it still. I mean, it isn’t like he is a jerk or anything, he just could not comprehend why I was so stressed about being late.

And I kept getting little panic attacks and junk and it was sucky, and I had another nightmare about Dave leaving me because I wasn’t good enough for him. And I didn’t calm down at all until I had a shit fit Sunday night because Dave was refusing to come to bed and it was one thirty in the morning and I had to go to work and couldn’t sleep. And I pissed dave off, of course, but I finally calmed down. Until I got home on Monday. Monday it was “meh” at work, but when I got home and saw all the shit that the fucking lazy assholes that work maintenance here have never worked on (the hole in the wall by the front door from MAY because we had no door stop and forgot to tell our friends that were helping us move, the wet spot on our CEILING in the bathroom that has been there since AUGUST, the connective hose on our AC unit that has NO insulation since well before we moved here I’m sure. And that isn’t mentioning the things they finally did, like fix our deadbolt so that it actually locked THREE WEEKS AFTER we moved in, we moved in two weeks after our signing for the apartment, and we made sure they knew about it. Or the jammed plug in the bedroom that they NEVER fixed, my father had to fix it when they came for a visit.) and it pissed me off all over again and then there were roaches. Everywhere. I mean that this is an infestation, they are everywhere. I turn on a light in the kitchen and I see them scurrying away, I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher and they scurry away, I OPEN the dishwasher and there are more in there, I open cabinets and some fall off the doors. I bought bait for this and I don’t think it is enough. So I called the health department and reported them.

They can eat me for all I care, our air intake to the HVAC unit is a health violation, but there is nothing I can do about it because that law only applies to hospitals. I know this because a building inspector just came out and took a look at it and told me it was awful but that he couldn’t even order the landlord to CLEAN the unit, much less repair it. My dad is a mechanical and electrical engineer at a hospital in Houston, see, so he knows all about this stuff, and he took a look at our unit when he came for a visit. He was pretty disgusted about it and told me to call the health department, which I did and we all know how that went. My dad always makes sure that their house is up to “hospital” standards so I’ve never lived in this poor of air before. It it killing my sinuses, and I can’t imagine how dave feels, because he actually has allergies. I wish we had a digital camera so I could take photos and show you how awful this intake unit looks. Also I need to buy filters for it and replace them probably twice a month, since the filter is doing all the work and the systems that are supposed to help it out don’t work very well. And of course the apartments only replace the filters every quarter.

I did go tell the apartments to spray over here for roaches, which they claim they are going to do tomorrow (thursday). But neither dave nor I will be here when they are supposed to spray so who knows if they even go in the apartment, much less if they spray inside our cabinets and along all the base boards and up on the ceiling. I was hoping that they could put out bait too.

Anyways, I think I’m finally ranted out. Later